I dunno about you, but oftentimes I find myself wondering if I’m doing a good enough job, why I can’t just get it all done, am I failing at this mom thing?
Truth be told, I know I’m not alone in thinking this and I’ve spent a heck of a lot of time trying to figure out why I feel like this and lemme tell ya, there’s a lot to unpack here.
- We start each day with a to-do list a mile long. Don’t get me wrong, having a to-do list makes my life easier but the real problem is I look at it and feel defeated before I even start. Instead of making a giant list, make smaller lists. Prioritize. Break it down into manageable bits. That way you keep your motivation instead of dread looking at it just to see a giant list of things you should be doing.
- We worry about everyone else. Its impossible to not worry about our families, let’s keep this realistic here. However, worrying about ourselves is just as important. When we are fed, hydrated, and taken care of we tend to feel a hell of a lot better. We are important too ladies.
- We think about all the things we didn’t do. At the end of the day I find myself thinking “Crap, I forgot to (insert one of the tons of things here)” instead of, “Wow I finished my list!” Or “I spent so much quality time with my kids today.” Little changes make a big difference. Do you think your kids care if the dishes got put away, or if there’s a stray toy here or there? Nah girl, they care that you showed up and loved them! Remember that.
- Our kids lost their shit in the middle of a store/ didn’t listen/ had a tough day. We’ve all been there. When you have littles its impossible to avoid. This one is another mindset change. Honestly, its gonna happen. It just is. Especially when they are little and learning what’s right and wrong and what yes and no mean. You’re not a bad parent because of it. Take solace in knowing you’re not alone here. You are not alone.
- We compare ourselves to other people’s best moments. It’s so easy to lose yourself scrolling through social media. Trust me, I’m on there, I see it. Everyone is living their best life on their Instagram and Facebook. Nobody wants to share the bad and ugly things. That doesn’t mean they don’t happen. How many of those people do you think shoved the mess to the side to get that picture? Or faked that smile even though their toddler threw the largest tantrum while they were there? Or are suffering from PPD, general anxiety or anything else but put on a happy face because they don’t think anyone will want to see the not so fun side? Stop comparing yourself to the little snippets you see of someone else’s life. I’m so lucky to have met people who wholeheartedly share themselves with me and I know I’m not alone and I want you to know that too. I’m a wreck. It is what it is. I’ll share it if it helps.
None of these things make you a failure. You’re trying your damndest every single day and showing up. You’re loving the crap out of your kids. Bad days are allowed. It’s a bad day, not a bad life mama. You’re doing amazing. You’re succeeding even when it doesn’t quite feel like it. So here’s to you, solidarity sister.
In case you were wondering, my life is a wreck but dang it, I wouldn’t change it.